The Last Mile …..
What is the last mile. It the final bend or distance that one has to cover at the end of a long distance, or even a short distance. I have always had this feeling, now entirely depending on my state of mind, as to whether this last mile is going to give me the reserve energy to sprint through to my freedom or do I have to drag myself towards the finish line. In my present state it is very difficult to judge. Do I take this as the last mile…is it really the beginning of the end..or is it turning of a new leaf. Somehow I feel that there is a lot of things that I could undo if I had the opportunity. What was it that I set myself out to do or rather achieve when all this first began – frankly speaking I have no Idea. I have never been good at doing any sort of planning in my entire life. I plan on a post haste basis, on the hindsight rather that calculate everything to its fruitful conclusion. At 45 it is rather too late, or is it really?

I never planned to go into business, never thought that I had the necessary wherewithal but then I did. Once it happened, I started thinking big without bothering about the consequences of where it would all lead. But somehow without any further thought I just followed my heart and did whatever struck me. Just like that – no planning, no forethought, nothing to grab on to – just followed my instincts. However, I made a terrible mistake – I trusted people. And today when most of that trust has been betrayed – I strangely do not feel any remorse. A little antipathy maybe, but then how can I be responsible for the actions of others. It is not me who has broken the trust, but the people whom I trusted who have broken that trust.

Then why do I want to give everything up and go into some sort of a hibernation. I am actually fed up of everything that surrounds me. I want to spend more time with my family, maybe laze around and do something meaningful at my own pace on my terms and with no accountability from anyone or to anyone. I want to be alone – and in solitude and be responsible for my own actions. Be answerable to none but myself. As on 30 September 2010, I have spent around 22 years and six months WORKING. The years have passed in a daze – I have fleeting memories – some joyous and some enjoyable and some happy, but on the whole the life so far has been quite peaceful for me till the time that I got the idea of getting to do business. Am I the right person for business – no I personally don’t think so. I make a lousy businessman. I just do not have the knack for it. But then that is what my fate had destined. And who am I to fight Destiny. But then there has been a heavy price that I have paid for it. It is like trying to convert Sea water into potable drinking water, where the cost of production would tilt the balance of the economy of scale.

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