Tag: #Love

  • Think Long, Not Just Big.

    We are constantly told to think big. Dream big. Set audacious goals. Aim for the extraordinary. There is certainly nothing wrong with that. Ambition has driven much of human progress. But over the years, I have begun to wonder whether there is another dimension to success that we do not talk about nearly enough. Perhaps the real advantage is not only in thinking big. Perhaps it is in thinking long.

    We live in an age of extraordinary impatience. We want the business to grow quickly, the book to sell immediately, the promotion to come now and the recognition to arrive before we have had enough time to build the capability, credibility and experience that usually produce it. Social media has only intensified this impatience. We constantly encounter stories of overnight success. Someone built a company in two years. Someone became a millionaire before thirty. Someone wrote a book that became a bestseller. Someone transformed their life in six months. What we rarely see is the ten years of preparation, failure, experimentation, learning and persistence behind the headline. We see the harvest. We rarely see the planting.

    That is why I find the idea of thinking long so compelling. Most meaningful achievements do not happen overnight. Signposts may appear along the way. There may be small victories, breakthroughs, recognition and moments when we suddenly realise that something is working. But significant results generally require time. Results follow action, certainly, but significant results often require years, sometimes decades, of sustained action. Mastery takes time. Building a respected business takes time. Building a reputation takes time. Developing wisdom takes time. Becoming the person capable of handling the success we desire takes time as well.

    The problem is that we often confuse action with immediate results. We start something and expect immediate evidence that it will work. When that evidence does not appear, we begin to question the idea, the opportunity and sometimes even ourselves. We move to something else. Then the same cycle begins again. Eventually, we may conclude that nothing works. But perhaps the problem was not that the idea was wrong. Perhaps we simply did not stay with it long enough.

    There is another perspective that I find particularly powerful. Consider the productive span of life broadly, from around twenty to eighty. That gives us sixty years. Six periods of ten years. Six potential decades in which we could dedicate ourselves to learning, building, experimenting and becoming exceptionally good at something. Of course, life does not operate in neat ten-year blocks. Careers overlap, responsibilities change, circumstances intervene and priorities evolve. Yet the arithmetic makes one thing clear. We have considerably more time than we often behave as though we have.

    Earlier generations did not necessarily have the same longevity, access to information, technology, educational resources or opportunities to reinvent themselves that we have today. We now live longer and can continue learning and contributing much later in life. A person can start a business at fifty-five, write a book at sixty, learn a new discipline at sixty-five or begin an entirely new chapter at seventy. Yet we often behave as though our opportunities disappear once we cross some arbitrary age boundary.

    Why?

    Who decided that everything important must happen by thirty? Who decided that a career must be settled by forty? Who decided that sixty is the end of productive life? These may be common social expectations, but they are not laws of nature.

    There is something else worth examining. We tend to celebrate people who achieve extraordinary things very quickly. The entrepreneur who builds a billion-dollar company. The person who becomes a global leader. The author who sells millions of books. The athlete who wins everything. Their stories are fascinating because they are exceptional. Biographies exist precisely because these lives are unusual. But most people are not going to become billionaires, win prestigious awards, or change the world in a way that makes history books. Nor do most people necessarily want to.

    That does not make their aspirations less meaningful.

    Success does not have to be spectacular to be significant. A person may want to build a good business, become an exceptional professional, raise a family well, mentor young people, write something meaningful, create employment, contribute to society or simply become a better version of themselves. These achievements may never make the front page of a newspaper. They can still have enormous significance.

    The important message, therefore, is not that everyone can become extraordinary by conventional measures. It is that we should not give up on ourselves simply because we have reached middle age or beyond.

    There are still possibilities.

    There are still opportunities.

    There is still time.

    In fact, I would argue that one of the great advantages of living longer is precisely that we get additional chances. The ageing of society is often discussed as though it is some kind of calamity. I see another possibility. The extra decades we now have can provide second, third, fourth and even fifth chances to learn, build, contribute and perhaps achieve something we could not achieve earlier.

    You may have failed at something at thirty. You can try again at forty. You may have chosen the wrong career at thirty-five. You can change direction at fifty. You may have built a business that did not work. You can build another. You may have spent decades working for someone else. You can create something of your own. You may have postponed writing that book. You can write it now. Just because something didn’t happen earlier doesn’t mean it cannot happen later.

    Sometimes life simply takes longer than we expected.

    That brings me to the familiar story of the hare and the tortoise. Most of us encountered it as children. The hare was fast and confident. The tortoise was slow and seemingly insignificant. Yet the tortoise eventually reached the destination. We were probably taught that the lesson was about consistency and not underestimating the competition. But there is another lesson in that story that seems increasingly relevant today.

    The tortoise understood time.

    It did not need to be spectacular every day. It didn’t need to show dramatic progress every hour. It simply had to keep moving in the right direction.

    That is becoming increasingly difficult in our world because we are surrounded by speed. Fast food. Fast communication. Fast delivery. Fast information. Fast careers. Fast money. Fast fame. Technology has made many things faster and artificial intelligence is accelerating that process even further. Speed is undoubtedly useful. But speed is not the same as progress. And progress is not the same as transformation.

    Some things simply cannot be rushed.

    A tree does not become a tree overnight. A child does not become an adult overnight. A reputation does not develop overnight. Wisdom certainly does not. Why should our most meaningful achievements be any different?

    This is where I have begun to examine my own journey more honestly. I have always been fascinated by big ideas, big goals and big possibilities. Looking back, however, I sometimes wonder whether I spent too much time thinking about how big the outcome could be and not enough time thinking about how long I was prepared to stay with the journey.

    I should have thought long instead of only thinking big.

    That is something I rue.

    The size of the goal is rarely the only issue. The more important question may be the timeframe we give ourselves to achieve it. If you want to write one book, perhaps you can do it in a year. If you want to become a respected author, you may need a decade. If you want to launch a business, perhaps you can do it in a few months. If you want to build an institution that outlives you, you may need decades. If you want to acquire a skill, you can learn its fundamentals relatively quickly. If you want mastery, prepare to stay.

    That distinction matters.

    Thinking big gives us direction. Thinking long gives us endurance. Thinking big can inspire us. Thinking long can sustain us. Thinking big can make us dream. Thinking long can give the dream a realistic chance of becoming reality.

    Perhaps this is why some of life’s most important achievements are not the result of extraordinary bursts of effort. They are the result of ordinary effort sustained for an extraordinary length of time.

    We underestimate the power of compounding in almost everything except money. We understand that investments grow when allowed to compound over decades, yet we often fail to apply the same principle to knowledge, relationships, reputation, skills, businesses and personal growth. Ten years of learning is not simply ten times one year of learning. Ten years of experience can fundamentally change the quality of our judgement. Ten years of building relationships can create a network that would be impossible to build quickly. Ten years of consistent work can create credibility that no amount of short-term publicity can manufacture.

    The difficulty is that compounding is almost invisible in the beginning.

    For a long time, it can appear as though nothing much is happening.

    That is precisely when most people quit.

    The desire for instant results, while completely understandable, can make us less open to the paths that lead to lasting achievement. What is quick and requires less work is naturally more attractive. But the things that matter most in life often ask something different from us. They ask us to stay when the excitement has disappeared. They ask us to continue when nobody is watching. They ask us to work without immediate applause.

    That is not glamorous.

    It is simply how many worthwhile things are built.

    So perhaps we need to rethink what we mean when we tell people to “think big”. Think big, certainly. But attach that ambition to a long horizon. Instead of asking, “How quickly can I achieve this?”, perhaps we should sometimes ask, “What could I build if I stayed committed to this for ten years?”

    That is a very different question.

    It changes the way we look at failure because failure becomes information rather than a final verdict. It changes the way we measure progress because small improvements begin to matter. It changes how we respond to setbacks because a setback in year two doesn’t look quite so catastrophic when the horizon is ten years. Most importantly, it changes our relationship with age.

    We stop seeing age as a countdown and begin seeing it as accumulated capital.

    Experience becomes an asset. Mistakes become lessons. Relationships become resources. Perspective becomes an advantage. And the years that once seemed to have passed us by can become the foundation for what comes next.

    Perhaps that is the real message we should take from the tortoise.

    It was not that the tortoise was faster.

    It was that the tortoise stayed in the race.

    And maybe that is what many of us need to remember.

    You do not have to achieve everything this year. You do not have to prove everything today. You do not have to become successful according to somebody else’s timetable. You do not even have to know exactly where the journey will end.

    You simply need to keep moving towards something that matters.

    Because sometimes the greatest advantage you have is not speed.

    It is time.

    As I look back at my own journey, I now believe that one of the most important questions we can ask ourselves is not, “How big is my goal?”

    It is, “How long am I prepared to stay with it?”

    Thinking big can lift our eyes.

    Thinking long can keep our feet on the ground.

    And perhaps the combination of the two creates lasting achievement.

    But if I had to choose the lesson that I wish I had understood earlier in my own life, it would be this:

    Do not just think big. Think long.

    Because the power of thinking long may be what finally allows us to go further than we ever imagined.

    What rings true for you?

    Is it the power of thinking big, or the power of thinking long?

    The Journey is yours. The Learning doesn’t have to be.

    Global Learning Centre (GLC) is being built around two journeys:

    FOR YOUNG ENTREPRENEURS

    Helping aspiring and emerging entrepreneurs develop the clarity, capability and confidence to turn ideas into sustainable businesses.

    FOR VETERANS — THE SECOND INNINGS

    Helping Armed Forces veterans translate their leadership, discipline, experience and capabilities into meaningful opportunities beyond uniform.

    The journey doesn’t end here. Let’s stay connected.

    My Books | LinkedIn | YouTube | Instagram | Medium | Website

  • Never Too Late – To start over again.

    There is a version of the success story we have all been sold, and most of it is a lie.

    Not the part about hard work. The part about speed. Open any feed and you will find it: the twenty-five-year-old who built a unicorn in eighteen months, the founder who “made it” before thirty, the overnight sensation who apparently arrived from nowhere. It makes for a good headline. It makes for a terrible blueprint, because it simply is not how success actually works for almost anyone, including the very people the headlines are about.

    I want to make a different case in this post, and in the ones that will follow it. It is a case built on three things I have come to believe are true, not because I read them somewhere, but because I have lived long enough to watch them play out, in my own life and in the lives of hundreds of people I have coached and worked alongside.

    First, results follow action, and significant results take time. Usually decades.

    The gap between doing the work and seeing the payoff is almost always longer than we expect, and almost always longer than anyone advertises. What gets called an overnight success is, nearly every time, the visible tip of ten or fifteen years most people never saw. There may be signposts along the way if you know where to look, small proofs that you are on the right track. But the idea that meaningful achievement arrives quickly is, for practical purposes, a myth. Plan your life as though the real results are decades out, because they usually are.

    Second, most people get more than one chance to succeed, if they are willing to commit the time.

    This is the encouraging part, and it is also the part people resist. Most people are capable. Genuine capability is far more common than we like to admit. What is rare is not ability but appetite: the willingness to devote real years, not weeks, to getting good at one thing. Ten years of dedicated focus will take almost anyone from beginner to genuinely excellent at nearly anything worth doing. Few people have sufficient passion for any single pursuit to commit ten years to mastering it. That is not a comment on talent. It is a comment on staying power, and staying power can be built the same way anything else is built: deliberately, and over time.

    Third, there is more time available to you than you think, and enough of it to do a few things exceptionally well.

    Here is a way of looking at it I find useful. Assume your productive life runs from twenty to eighty. That is sixty years, or six separate ten-year periods. Six full decades, each one long enough on its own to take you from novice to master in a field, if you commit to it. That is roughly three times the productive runway most people could count on a century or two ago, when a working life ending at forty-five or fifty was the norm rather than the exception. We have been handed extra decades that no earlier generation had, and most of us are still living as though we only have the first two.

    There is a reframe I keep coming back to on this point. The press tends to write about an ageing society as though it were some kind of calamity, a problem to be managed. I think that gets it backwards. The extra decades we now have are one of the genuinely great developments of our time, because they hand all of us second, third, fourth, even fifth chances at something close to greatness, chances earlier generations simply did not get. Somebody needed to say that plainly, so I am saying it.

    I am also deliberately not going to load this post with examples of the truly exceptional: the people who built giant companies, made a billion dollars, won a major prize, or changed the world in some sweeping, documented way. Those stories exist, and they get written up precisely because they are rare. Most of us are not going to reach those heights, and if I am honest, most of us do not actually want to run that particular race. None of that diminishes the real message here, which is this: you should not give up on yourself, or on what you set out to build, simply because you are no longer young. Plenty of people have not given up, and they are doing extraordinary things at forty-five, at fifty-five, at seventy, with none of it making headlines and all of it mattering enormously to them and the people around them.

    I want to speak directly to one group of people reading this, because their situation makes the whole argument concrete rather than theoretical.

    If you are an officer approaching the end of your service, or you have already hung up the uniform and are wondering what comes next, you are standing at exactly the point this post is about. You gave the first part of your working life to discipline, to a mission larger than yourself, to a code most civilian careers never ask anyone to live by. And then, somewhere in your forties or early fifties, that chapter ends, often earlier than you would have chosen, and you are left looking at what feels like the back half of a life with no obvious script for it.

    I would ask you to look at the arithmetic again. If your working life runs to eighty, and your uniformed service ended at fifty, you are not closing a book. You are between campaigns, with two, three, even four more ten-year periods still ahead of you, each one long enough to build something you would be genuinely proud of. That is the whole idea behind Hoplite: the citizen-soldier who serves, returns, and takes up the next fight in civilian life, with the same discipline that got him through the first one. Nothing about your training was wasted. It was preparation for a second campaign you have not fought yet.

    This will be the first post in an ongoing series exploring exactly that: how officers rebuild after service, what actually transfers from a military career into corporate life, entrepreneurship, or consulting, and what tends to get in the way. I will not be pretending there is a formula that works for everyone. There is not. But there is a process, and there is a great deal that decades of watching people make this exact transition has taught me about what works and what does not.

    If you are an officer thinking about this transition, or you know one who is, I would genuinely like to talk. Not a sales pitch, just a conversation about where you are and what your options actually look like. Reach me directly on WhatsApp at 9625675052, or by email at skcjos@gmail.com.

    What would you attempt if you stopped measuring yourself against how young you are?

    The Journey is yours. The Learning doesn’t have to be.

    Global Learning Centre (GLC) is being built around two journeys:

    FOR YOUNG ENTREPRENEURS

    Helping aspiring and emerging entrepreneurs develop the clarity, capability and confidence to turn ideas into sustainable businesses.

    FOR VETERANS — THE SECOND INNINGS

    Helping Armed Forces veterans translate their leadership, discipline, experience and capabilities into meaningful opportunities beyond uniform.

    The journey doesn’t end here. Let’s stay connected.

    My Books | LinkedIn | YouTube | Instagram | Medium | Website

  • The Unspoken Anchor: Understanding and Cherishing Parental Love.

    The Unspoken Anchor: Understanding and Cherishing Parental Love.

    The Unseen Foundation. In the chaotic symphony of life, we often miss the soft, consistent melody that plays in the background. It’s the silent support, the unwavering belief, the hands that steady us when we stumble. It’s the love that has no conditions, no fine print, and no expectations. This profound, boundless love comes from two people: our parents. The Power of Unconditional Love While the world operates on a system of reciprocity, where love is often tied to actions or worthiness, parental love stands as a stark and beautiful exception. Think back to your earliest memories. The scraped knees comforted, the nightmares banished, the milestones celebrated with genuine joy. This love didn’t depend on your grades, your career choices, or your social standing. It existed purely because you were their child. They were your first cheerleaders, your confidants, and your safest harbour. This type of love, given freely without any underlying motive, is a rare and precious gift.

    When Life Gets in the Way As we grow older, we get absorbed by our own ambitions, challenges, and relationships. We build our own lives, and in the process, we sometimes forget the very foundation that allowed us to build. We become busy. We forget to call. We miss birthdays. We take their presence for granted, assuming they will always be there, just as they have always been. This neglect, however unintentional, can be a silent wound for our parents. They might not complain, but the void left by our absence or lack of expressed affection can be felt deeply.

    The aspersions We Cast by way of misunderstanding their Motives. Sometimes, our parents’ words or actions can be misinterpreted. Their concerns might sound like nagging, their advice might feel like interference, and their questions might seem like intrusions. In our desire for independence, we might push them away, labelling their care as control. However, if we peel back the layers, we’ll often find that their words and actions are rooted in deep-seated love and a desire to protect and guide us. They have seen more of the world, experienced more its challenges, and their wisdom, though perhaps delivered in a way that feels outdated, comes from a place of genuine concern.

    Cultivating a Culture of Gratitude and Respect So, how can we bridge the gap and honor this profound love?

    • Express Your Affection without waiting for a special occasion. Simple gestures can mean the world. A spontaneous phone call, a thoughtful message, a warm hug, or a simple “I love you” can brighten their day.
    • Make Time, Not Excuses: Prioritise quality time with them. Go for a walk, share a meal, or just sit and talk. Be fully present in those moments.
    • Listen with Empathy when they speak. Genuinely listen to understand their perspectives and feelings. Ask about their lives, their dreams, and their worries.
    • Forgive and Move Forward because No parent is perfect. They might have made mistakes. But letting go of past grievances and focusing on the love they have shown can bring peace to your relationship.
    • Show Your Respect with Simple acts of respect, like asking for their advice (even if you don’t always follow it) or listening attentively, can convey that you value their wisdom and experience.

    A Love to Be Cherished Our parents’ love is a beacon that guides us, a safety net that catches us, and a constant in an ever-changing world. It is a love that asks for nothing in return but is fulfilled by seeing us thrive. Let’s not wait for “someday” to express our love and gratitude. Let’s not let the busyness of our life dim the brightness of this connection. Let’s honour the two people who loved us first, and who continue to love us, unconditionally and without aspersions. For in cherishing them, we honour the very essence of love and connection.